'I Have a Confession'
Happy Mother's Day Moms!
What a great Monday!
Happy Mother’s Day to all you moms out there! I hope your families got to celebrate you well!
Hard to describe the poem today and what not. I did not sit down to write what I wrote, nor have it on my mind to make such a confession.
In all honesty, God has a huge sense of humor as Sunday began my week on ‘Confession’ in the A.C.T.S. prayer in the M90 Reset one of my best friends created to dive deeper with the Lord.
It didn’t hit me right away until I wrote the title down (which came before the majority of the poem) on how on point I apparently was with the week.
Anyways, I sat down to write and had a YouTube playlist from the artist ‘Sleeping at Last’ playing. It was his ‘Atlas: I’ playlist and the last 7 songs went right into the poem and got my feels and senses heightened to the max.
I’ll share the poem first, then explain a bit more.
I Have a Confession
I sit and listen
Instrumental crescendos
And ponder the story
Lived, perceived, lost and found
Sometimes all at once
Along the hidden clues
Throughout life’s journey~
A field to pass,
But the Heart yearns
To wander through the flowers,
To skip with the butterflies,
An image of my mom
With my Savior
In perfect peace,
Perfect soliloquy
And tears well up
At the corners of the eye.
Isn’t it a wonder
We could be in a room
With many others,
And yet not reside,
Our Presence far off
In worlds and playgrounds
Of God’s Creation
No one else could dream of
And you sit with overdrive
Emotional earthquakes
To dive head long into wardrobes
For expanses of Beauty~
A walk form summer to winter
And back again, ethereal
In the sublime reality to speak
I have a Confession:
I still miss my Mom.
~By: A.J. Wagoner
©️2026For the ones who do not know, my mom passed away from a heart attack on Father’s Day 2020 (June 21st), so Father’s Day this year will be 6 years since she went to be with Jesus.
I know she is with Jesus as the day I found out I went to meet up with some World Race Alumni here in Houston to receive prayer and on the route to my friend’s place God very clearly said within me that she was with Him.
Sunday night as I wrote the poem, which I had the thought of a fun, whimsical poem for Monday it went deeper and further within me than I could have imagined. Tears welled up. Tears fell.
So, yes, I have a confession: I still miss my mom, and my best friend, Marcus’s mom who passed away a month or so before mine.
I miss our friend from high school and church youth, Tommy. I miss all other grandparents and aunts and uncles and others who have gone on to be with the Lord.
Even our little dog Bella and all the other dogs I grew up with that I may not remember all their names.
I know I will see them again, but the ache sometimes comes in our lives of the ones already onto His Glory and time to remember them and take in the memories again brings further healing to our hearts and souls.
Who do you miss? Who do you long to see again?
It’s okay to take moments to remember them, to grieve a little more, even if it’s been years since they left this world.
The means to heal can be a process and that is quite okay.
Thank you Abba for the chance to remember my mom on Mother’s Day and to worship you for her being with you! Don’t have too much fun without the rest of us! Haha!
Now may the grace of God wash over you and bring you peace in the storms you may be experiencing this week!
Blessings!
